When I write this down
This flow of words
I feel release
But then I think too much
Instead of just feel
I see fear
You know what I mean

I fear I have lost my mind
But isn’t that what I’ve been praying for
I fear I have stolen words that aren’t mine
Although I know they never are
I fear these words aren’t good enough
But they are exactly what they are
I fear that I am not worthy
Except this is a miracle that overcomes unworthiness

I fear rejection
I fear judgment

But I fear all of this from myself

When I write this down
This flow of words
I read them out loud
I feel release
Then sometimes, when I think too much
I still feel fear

But then I decide to share these words
With you

These words are poems
That have been buried deep for decades
For lifetimes
From beyond all of that
Passed down through me timeless
to you

When you hear these words
Maybe you will hear truth
Maybe you will hear peace
Maybe you will hear love
Maybe you will hear me

I hope you don’t hear me
Because what I say isn’t important
But what you hear
Could be

If you hear from a still place
From a loving place
Without judgment
Without walls or veils
Without fear

Without all of the usual suspects
That hold us back
From hearing
From knowing

What we need to hear
What we yearn to hear
What we will
in one unexpected moment
hear and know

I share these Words with you
In gratitude
In love

Thank you for listening

With gratitude
I hold you
I keep you
I love you

With gratitude
I witness you
I see you
I accept you

With gratitude
I find myself
Alone
But Never alone

With gratitude
These words
Fall effortlessly down upon me
And you

With gratitude
I remember
Those lost
And
those found

With gratitude
I hear
Happiness and
The Unalterable Truth

With gratitude
I practice
Again and
again

With gratitude
I know
Anything can and
Everything will
be done.

With gratitude
Miracles happen
And
Love abounds

With gratitude
I bow
My head
My heart
My mind

With gratitude
We join here.
In truth
In love
In spirit

With gratitude
We thank you
And lift up
Always
Our truest love

Will you take this walk with me
In the Forest
Tree by tree

Where you see me
I’m not there
A paradox
Both always and never aware

Will you take this walk with me
Near the water, A reflection
Body, spirit, mind —These three

Hold my hand
Look into my eye
You see me then
With grace, I sigh

Will you take this walk with me
Through the forest
Tree by tree

One by one
Two by two
With each of our footsteps
life grows anew

Will you take this walk with me
It’s all that’s there
Wholly true
Open your eyes and remember to see

I Feel the wind
You touched the air
We were never here
Neither You, nor I, are ever there

Will you take this walk with me
Down a dirt aisle
Petals flying
Ending with a wordless exchange of love

Like a key, it opens
The sacred door
Leading to the heart
Just beyond the whispering veil

Moment upon moment
I find myself
Kneeling again at this threshold
Wondering, hoping, surrendering

I wait and wait
For that knob to turn
I know it’s coming
Again and again and again, I learn

Will you take this walk with me
Through the forest
Tree by tree

I promise we will find
What we are meant to see
Love is you
Love is me

Will you take this walk with me
I with you and you with me
We are one
Nothing is more true

Together
Hands held
Forever

It’s always Love

It’s always You

And now it is winter again
I feel it in my bones
The tiredness
The questioning
The judgment
The frustration

All of the things I keep trying to leave behind
All of the things I keep hoping will disappear
Even Though I know because I am human
Those things will always exist

As a human
They exist
I am learning how to surrender
To have faith
To have Hope
To remember with a Deep knowing

That winter will end
And
Spring will come

I will grow again
Before the winter returns

Sitting still
The silence is comforting
I feel cradled
Like I’m inside of a cocoon

Everything is out of focus
Any noise coming into my awareness is muffled
I sense immense light all around me
And I feel safe

The stillness gives me space
Between thoughts
Between living cells
Of Miraculous life
Between breaths

In and out
In and out

Slowly
Gently

Space
Just enough for me to let go
Of my physical self
So that I can return to
love
connection
Oneness

Sometimes the stillness
Takes me to a different place
An almost suffocating place
Of loneliness
Of fear
Of uncertainty
Inside my mind

The stillness leaves space
This time, a vacuum
And my thoughts become
Too loud
Battling themselves as
They try to take control
Of my mind

I hear my stories
Echoing
Looping
Judging

The tapes are
Playing over and over
Trying to convince me
That this time
This time
I’ve made a mistake

My heart responds in opposition
But it’s voice is too quiet for me to hear
Over the loud thoughts

My heart tries to reassure me
That I’ve just given a gift
That needed to be given
Giving away what I have received

It says
Didn’t that feel right? Just now?
The giving?
The returning of love?
The returning TO love?

I think of
Abundance
You have to give
To receive
And receive
While you are giving

When the silence
Becomes too loud
Thankfully
There is awareness

I recognize the tapes
And I know they aren’t true
But it feels impossible to hit pause

And then I remember something

About silence,
Stillness
and thoughts

Equanimity

Letting go of
Aversion
And clinging
Both of those lead to suffering

Letting go of the valence
Of my thoughts
Is difficult

I’d like to assign them
In one direction or another
And hang on
Maybe for dear life
In an endless loop
Playing over and over again

But If I remember
I can choose differently

I picture a crisp red leaf
A maple leaf
Surrendering to the unknown
As it frees itself from its life long resting place
A tree, nearly bare
The red leaf
Free falls slowly toward the ground below

It gets picked up by the wind
Mid air
First funneling into a dance with other leaves
All colors—yellow, red, orange, even green
Until something catches it off guard
And it exits the dance
Blown to the surface of a stream
Where the current continues its journey

I watch my thought, a leaf
Going either this way or that
Just floating away
Down the stream
Sometimes slowly
Sometimes spinning contently in the current
Other times hurrying and rushing
Along on its path

But my thought never comes back to me
Never returning upstream
Always away
The way thoughts are meant to flow
Gently Away
Without clinging
Without aversion
But just being witnessed without judgment
Equanimity

If I remember
To let go
To Surrender
To Let things flow
And not fight against the current
I find a state of Grace
I choose again

Then the stillness and silence return to me
Again the cocoon
And I feel wrapped in love

I remember
Who I am
And forget to be afraid
And instead trust
That I’m on my journey
Where there are no mistakes

The stillness returns
leaving me just enough space
In between
My thoughts
My breaths

In and out
In and out

Slowly
gently

And I remember again
What is real

I am whole
I am free
I am loved

My heart knows the truth.
Sitting still in silence
I can hear it now.

They say it’s darkness

When we can’t remember
It’s something bad
So painful that we blocked it out

I think it’s light
So bright
Full of pure love
That we can’t remember

All the times that spirit
Was working so hard
To connect with us
To share the truth

But we weren’t ready
Or we weren’t listening
Or maybe we heard
But then became afraid

Afraid of what we saw
Or Experienced
Of What touched our soul
At that moment

I’m ready
To remember
To see
To know

I want to take flight
To join with spirit again
I’m not afraid
I am ready

Fog pauses
At the waters surface
Partially obscuring Life

Standing Alone
Perched
High above
I watch as it begins to Lift itself

Gently
Slowly
Steadily

I sense the light of the sun
Warming my cheek

A cool breeze comes
My mind drifts
I wonder if it’s pausing there
The fog
Waiting
For the world to finally wake up
To be ready for the Truth
About to be unveiled

Looking up
3 eagles
Circle silently
Above

But the fog is a Siren
Inescapably calling to me
Singing its sweet song

I find myself wrapped in it
No longer seeing beyond my own hand

I cling to my limits of separation
Hearing only my own voice
Feeling only my own body
Remembering only my human life

There is a false sense of comfort
Cocooned there
Until the darkness and fear
Creep back into my mind

The fog shifts then
Suddenly becoming more dense
A heavy, suffocating blanket
As I realize
That I can’t see anything other than myself
And I can’t breathe

An eagle above
Screams a warning

I return to myself
Air filling my lungs effortlessly

Relieved
I remember
Where I am standing
On my own two legs
High Above
With the sun resting gently on my cheek

I look out ahead
Finding steadiness in the snow capped mountains
Sensing limitlessness
In the expanse of the horizon

A bee buzzes on a blossom nearby
The sound amplifing in my ear
Signaling a wordless message

Looking down again at the fog
Far below me
At the waters surface
I am afraid

Paralyzed with fear

But just for a moment

Before I remember
I can choose again

To trust
A familiar Voice
That doesn’t feel
Quite like my own
Yet

I release myself

Jumping

Diving headfirst into the wind
Free falling off the cliff above
I leave my human body behind

I find my snowy, white wings
Suspended, mid air
Weightless above the fog
Untethered
I take in a new view of the world
Ready to explore the endless sky

An eagle screams
With a message
Go deeper
Dive deeper

I change course
Plunging
Into the frigid,
Refreshing,
Sanctifying
Water

Holding my breath
I am submerged
I feel my long, black, undulating body
Sliding effortlessly between each molecule
Sensing the swirling currents
Dancing in joy all around me

I propel myself downward
Again weightless
My strength building

A flash of light
Appears in the darkness
Catching my attention

It illuminates the ocean floor
Just long enough
For me to glimpse a rift below

Slipping through it
Into the molten lava
I am Shapeless

I feel the heat
From deep inside
The Core of the earth

The liquid fire surrounds me
Burning me away

Who I thought I was
My stories
My fear

Until my heart
Is the only thing left
Red, pulsing
Raw

Engulfed in flames
It Cracks Open
Wide

Its beat changes rhythm then
Becoming a drum
Summoning me back

Back
Out of the fire

Back
Gliding through water

Back
Suspended in air

Back
Standing on the solid earth

Dazed now
I discover my feet bare
My toes wet with dew from the blades of grass beneath them

Tired, I sit down on a rock
At the top of the cliff

Watching the fog below
Nearly gone

Sitting there
The breeze comes
I close my eyes

I See my heart
No longer inside my chest
But alive there in my hands
Stretched out before me
Reaching towards the horizon

With each beat
It calls the suffering of the world
Into itself
While the light of Spirit
Free now to enter through the crack
Transmutes all of our pain
Into Love

Pure, Endless Love
Pulsing back out into the world
Into all of us
Together as One

We are Whole
We are Healed
Instantly

The eagle screams
I open my eyes
Marveling again at the magnificence of the fog
At the wisdom found in Nature
Waiting for us to listen
To hear the Voice of Spirit
Our Voice

To dive head first into your fear
To take the journey

Trusting that you are being lead
In every moment

Allowing the bigger picture
The whole picture
To be revealed
At the end of it all
Where it all began

But only when you are ready

To let your self burn away

To let your Heart crack open

To realize the purpose of your life

The Truth
The Wholeness
The Love
Is there waiting

Patiently
Eagerly

For each of us

To choose once again

A river of light
Wide and expansive
Shines its path
To my beating heart

Graceful and luminous
It captivates me
Pausing my thoughts

My mind is quiet
Vibrating gently

I sense the sun
Warming me

I am Surrounded
Embraced
Comforted

Stirring then
I discover myself
Behind heavy eyelids

I slip back into the darkness
And the dream continues

The rain
Falls in a mist
Softly, slowly

Everything is just out of focus
So calm and present
And that’s when I recognize
You

When I dare
To move too close
It dissolves
Right before me

Just beyond the reach
Of my outstretched arms

Yet Fear and disappointment are absent
Because truth lives there

Beyond our selves
It is real

But here
I don’t know what to say

My dream appears happier
With rivers of expansive light
And misting rain
And warm embraces

Yet I keep quiet

And the aching begins again

Until I can see

Who we are

And

To Know
What Love is
And
Where
It Truly Exists

I hear a question
One that I knew the answer to

But my mind goes blank

A barren canvas
Brush hovering
Dripping with meaning over it’s surface
Frozen in time

The answer is there

White
Whispering
Still camouflaged, without any color

And the question?

Just beyond my grasp

It escapes me

Before I can reach out
And stop it
From rushing
Suddenly
Away

When I think those sad
Lonely
Left out
Questioning
Unworthy
thoughts

And I am about to be caught in a dangerous, powerful
Undertow

Swept under and out
Untethered into open water

When I find a way
To free these buzzing thoughts
From the sticky web of my mind

Before they become tangled up
And trapped in silvery shackles

When I become brave enough to release them from their nest

So they can test their wings
And transform themselves
Becoming magestic creatures
soaring high into the clouds

When I finally surrender and trust
And my thoughts can fly away

There is space again
In my mind
In my heart

For cleansing white light and
Miraculous color
To come streaming in

Something changes

I feel connected

I feel loved

And life
Becomes again the rolling waves
Gentle, even in the storm

Under the round, shining moon

Where I can stand balanced
And steady
And Feel the changing tides

Without losing myself
To the depths
In the undertow